I could:

Inspiration by hesitation

I could explain to her why I left, and pepper her with apologies. I could write a longer reply, in an attempt to jot down what I thought happened, in a cogent, logical form, with a clear beginning and an even clearer end.

Or I could insert answers to where there are none, and form conclusions to the things we never addressed. I could start by saying, “Loving you came with a huge responsibility, something I couldn’t handle at the time, and I think I knew it.” Something that would reduce me, and empower her. I could give reasoning to my actions, even though I know, deeply, that my actions didn’t have meaning, nor thought, that I had lost control over time, and words: all that existed during those days, was space, filled to the brim with emptiness, overflowing with mindlessness.

Or I could tell her I’m okay, that I have a job now, and that I moved to Toronto. I can ask her what she’s up to, and maybe we can meet up for coffee sometime. End it nicely, neatly, as civil as it could possibly be.

Or I could do nothing, because she didn’t warrant a reply, and I wouldn’t want to overwrite.

Or I could–


One thought on “I could:

  1. MDP says:

    I am slowly learning that to empower others at the risk of reducing yourself is never worth it. Both may be at fault, but never lessen the importance of your own thoughts and feelings.

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