When they were 16, she brought five friends to the basement of her parents’ house so that they could watch Fight Club. She had seen it the night before and made it her personal mission to spread the good word. By the time the movie was finished, only one person out of the five stayed awake. He said he completely loved the movie – especially the ending – and what was that song playing in the background?
By the time they were 20, the couple was fully learned in the lingo of The Pixies. Doolittle was their absolute favourite album of all time, and they even watched Un Chien Andalou just to figure out what Debaser was about, one soft Saturday night, falling asleep in each other’s arms right afterwards, content to be surrealist film critics even for just a day.
At their first apartment together, the first thing they unpacked were the speakers. The whole place blared of The Pixies while the couple painted their walls yellow.
They watched the band live in Toronto at the Massey Hall. She danced furiously, unapologetically, even more relentless after the old man beside her suddenly stiffened. He continued to throw her annoyed glances throughout the night – so she danced even harder. They had both listened to nothing but The Pixies for a whole month before the concert started – and so they sang and danced to every song the band played that night.
Before the show started, they held hands while they smoked a joint in an alleyway, keeping their eyes out for unsavoury characters. They shared a beer at a local pub after the show, and caught the last GO Train back home. She kept her headphones on while she placed her head on his shoulder on the way back home, listening to the concert they just heard. He did the same.
When they were 22, a friend drowned at a local beach. Where is My Mind suddenly was in poor taste.
The Pixies became an old thing – an archetype of the past. Though every time she opened her wallet, it was the old ticket stub from their last concert that she saw first.
After she was diagnosed at a mental hospital, Where is My Mind suddenly resurfaced, back in full force. She began to see old things in new perspectives – always with the careful meditation and awareness that we choose the things we do because it is a part of our becoming – that there is beauty and pathos even in the mundane – and that love is neither elevated nor transformative: It is a human state built with labour, as a result of the conscious decision of your will, your wit, and your heart.