Spent the weekend at a cottage down Tobermaury / and hiked for an hour to jump off cliffs down the Bruce Peninsula trail / was reminded of other trails like the one in Varadero / where we crossed paths with snakes, crabs the size of human heads, bats and wild dogs and the one in Quebrada Grande, Costa Rica / where we were strapped to each other by a single rope as we crossed waterfalls and eucalyptus trees so we can make a path in the rainforest / A crazy, beautiful life and yet /
Driving back to the city / and rejoining civilized life / am reminded of the fury / and isolation / in a place full of strangers and nameless friends./ When will I find reciprocation? / (If you stop looking for it) / When will I find adventure in my every day? / (If you continue working towards it) / When will I find peace free of envy and spite? / (If you release your ego and practice kindness despite how you feel)
What’s tricky about this disease / are the things it forces you to remember. / All I remember are the things I’ve lost, taken for granted and can’t have. / I forget the pleasure in the mundane, the rarity of unconditional love and the trill in absolute isolation./ It is a constant battle to remind myself that I have what I have always dreamed of since I was a dreaming child: / a best friend who loves me, the time to write endlessly, and the freedom to choose my own future.
Don’t get lost in materialism and societal expectations. / There is nothing manmade that have made gasp in awe and wonder as much as I do when I am surrounded by nature / Be grateful that love and adventure resides within you, / that you depend on yourself / and that you create worlds and realities within the tip of your fingers / because of your great capacity / to feel and fall in love with everything so deeply. /
Today I am grateful to be me / and if tomorrow I forget / I can go back to today and remind myself / of who I am / and continue to be.