Day to Day Poetry, poetry

#5 Murder

One word to describe you – STOIC,
versus me – GULLIBLE.
Were you always that good at swallowing pain,
or were you just good at pretending so
that GUILT can flow out of me in an APOLOGETIC
deluge of sorry’s and please forgive me’s
coupled with bent knees, palms raised, pleading –
when a minute ago, I could have sworn,
it was you who was at fault?

You’d help me bury a body, right? she asked,
without hesitation, dead pan, straight-faced I said, “of course”.
And I would too, no questions asked, even at the edge of
life and death, even at the very cusp of it –
IRREFUTABLY, UNDOUBTEDLY, I’d help you,
right nor wrong has no role in it,
FOOLISH and NAIVE are the clothes
I’d wear for you.

There’s a hammer that pounds into my chest.
And it knocks me out –
every,
single
time.

 

Advertisements
Standard
Day to Day Poetry, poetry

#4 Roxies

She keeps my
flesh tingling, eyes racing in
tippy-tappy motions, smile
unceasing, pounds increasing,
tongue stuck to the back of my throat.

Fingers twisting, spine cracking,
knuckles clenching to the beat of
my ears expanding, mind’s tripping,
treading water to keep me afloat.

Sitting, legs trembling,
lip biting, eyes darting
keeping watch for –
don’t do it, just walk away from it
keep chanting, fully knowing
despite feeling sick and found wanting
I still want more.

Keep denying, procrastinating
healing for one more day
Anxiety killing, stress reducing,
how can this be as bad as they say?

Self-deluding, self-loathing,
you’ve gone so far you forgot you were drowning,
enjoy this brief reprieve, you haven’t much time to give,
you’ve become your own demon just so you can live.

Standard